Everyone loves you, so wouldn’t more of you lead to more love? Your wish is our command. Here before you are the top six ways to pack on some pudge, look more jolly, fill out those jeans, and change that six-pack into a pony keg. Read on, you passion panda!
When you wake up, your body is craving food. This would be an optimal time to fuel up for a lean and mean day. Don’t do it! You want your body to think that it’s starving, so it holds on to as much fat as possible.
Also, the lower your caloric intake is, the lower your metabolism. And a low metabolism is the key to storing fat. Stay in fat storing mode by depriving your body of fuel. Store that fat!
And here are a few extra interesting facts from a University of Massachusetts study:
If you don’t get enough sleep, your body will produce a stress hormone called cortisol. Cortisol leads straight to fat storage and muscle loss. You can maximize your levels by doing plenty of smoking and drinking while you burn that midnight oil.
Sleeping also increases that metabolism, we’ve gotta be sure to keep that tamped down. After all, the more fat the better, right?
Pumping iron raises your metabolic rate for at least a day, which definitely goes against our goal of as much extra-soft padding as possible. It also adds lean muscle mass, which burns calories all the time! Lifting weights would be one of the worst ways to add fat.
Lean muscle also creates one of those shapely and defined bodies. But
When you’re moving slow, your body uses fat as fuel. Since you’ll get more efficient at using this fuel, you’ll keep burning less and less fat. Most gym machines will now tell you when you’re in “the zone.” While in “the zone” you’ll also wither away those pesky muscles, further lowering metabolism. Whatever you do, don’t push yourself.
Remember our good friend cortisol? Lots of steady-state aerobics help to increase our levels. This creates an ideal environment for storing fat. Woo-hoo!
Our bodies absolutely love to store processed grains as fat. White bread and snacky-cakes will do wonders for expanding our waistlines.
Avoid all vegetables and whole grains, those are digested slowly and used as fuel. Better by far to eat refined products that enter the bloodstream fast and get stored just as fast. Bleached and processed foods are fat storing champions!
That last thing that an aspiring super-sizer needs is a personal trainer encouraging “proper habits.” After all, who wants to know how to set up the machines or design an exercise program? If we use poor exercise form and get hurt, we can stay up all night and eat fruit loops. That’ll pack on some pounds.
Plus, trainers are always motivating and supporting. Who wants an educated and caring coach, let me do it myself!
There you have it, the top six ways to gain body fat!
Oh, what’s that? You don’t want to add, you want to drop? That’s simple, just don’t follow the guide. In fact, reverse it!
1. Eat a healthy breakfast with lots of protein
2. Get at least 8 hours of sleep a night
3. Lift weights
4. Perform intense, interval cardio
5. Eat lots of veggies, avoid processed food
6. Consult with a trainer
You can do it!
Copyright Lucas Wold is an elite strength and conditioning specialist located in central Washington state. Working with athletes of all levels, from adolescent beginners to Olympians to professionals, he focuses on spreading the most effective training methods to as many people as possible. He can be reached through his website at http://www.BeastAthletics.com. Article Source
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