Food Fights: How To Stop Them Before They Begin by Carly Jennings

I know.  It’s very difficult to “let go and let baby” when it comes to the developmental milestone of regulating his own food intake.

But somebody has to regulate his food.  For the rest of his life.  And if not him, then who?

Like every other life skill your child will develop this self-care skill of healthy food intake in stages. There are simple ways to tell when he’s ready for more responsibility.

Watch the way he uses his hands.

Even before baby officially discovers their usefulness as toys, he will suck his hands to comfort himself.  I advise parents to help a young baby find his hands, especially if he will be able to self-comfort as a result.  By 2 months old, he’ll be very good at bringing his empty hands to his mouth while lying on his back. The next skill that will be useful for self-feeding is his ability (at around 3 months of age) to bring an object (that he’s already holding) to his mouth.

Read his lips.

Baby will use his tongue to push out and reject food that doesn’t please him, starting at 5 or 6 months. If you offer a cracker to your 6 or 7 month-old, he will consume it by making a munching action with his mouth.  At 9 months, he will bite at a cookie, but not bite all the way through.  At 12 months, he will be able to complete the biting of a soft cookie.  Because your baby will be able to (and will want to) try out a variety of softer foods, it is crucial that you only offer foods that are not choking hazards.

How does he respond to food tools?

Your infant will recognize bottle or breast at around 3 months old.  By 4-6 months old, he will pat the bottle or breast during mealtimes.  Between the ages of 4 to 7 months, or depending on when you and your pediatrician decide to offer solids, your baby will begin to open his mouth when you present a spoon.   A couple of months after that (9-ish months old), he’ll reach for the spoon. He might want to imitate what you do (not for nutritional purposes, but for the joy of stirring), or he might just bang the spoon on his plate.  His impulse to control food tools (and therefore, what goes into his body) is crucial.  Honor this emerging preference.  Don’t insist on controlling the spoon once he reaches this stage.

Bottoms up!

I’m referring to your child’s use of a cup, not his resistance to early toilet training pressure. At the age of 6 months (ish), your baby will drink from a cup, if you hold it.  A few months later, he will be ready to hold it for himself.  By his first birthday, he will want to attempt holding the cup, and you should let him.  Please expect some spilling.  If you can wipe off those slippery, just-had-lunch hands before he tries, you’ll see more success and less frustration.

Young children’s ambitions often exceed their skills.  If you let your child practice the small skills and the small choices, he will grow more smoothly into the big ones.  And remember — nobody wins a food fight with a baby.

Copyright 2010 Carly Jennings, MommyGarten.com - Learn How Your Baby Learns