Why Is It So Hard To Be Kind To Ourselves? by Kerstin Weber

We grow up with a very fragmented concept of kindness. We tend to see kindness as acts that always seem to involve third parties. We can show great kindness to others yet we generally deny that great gift to ourselves. True kindness is not an act. It is a STATE OF BEING based on the knowledge that ALL IS ONE. We can only be as kind to others as we can be kind to ourselves. Anything else is just a learned concept which, sooner or later, will leave us feeling depleted and disappointed. If we deny ourselves the loving kindness which we try to extend to others, we inevitably end up exhausted and frustrated. We simply cannot keep it up.

One of my clients books regular Reflexology treatments in the comfort of her home. This is one of her coping strategies for being a mother of twins aged 5 and a full time professional. I love to observe how the twins gradually learn that this is ‘Mummy’s Special Time’. Children grasp the concept of ‘special time’ as something they want to get a lot of for themselves. It makes sense, then, for children to learn that everyone needs ’Special Time’ and they will respect their mum for valuing herself enough to take care of herself, rather than, just seeing herself in the role of a CARER FOR
OTHERS. I have no doubt the twins will grow up with a concept that validates SELF CARE.

Another client, a single mum of three, suffers with a lot of tension head aches and high blood pressure. Her sons have been diagnosed with ADHD and my client learned to recognize that, whenever she is able to stay calm and consistent, her sons seem calmer too. We decided on a treatment package, where we combine Indian Head Massage/Reflexology with Visualization/Affirmations and put a self help exercise sequence together which she can use whenever the tension rises.

Another client prefers to come to the clinic where he can ‘get away from it all’. For him Holistic Body Massage helps relieve tension in his neck and shoulders, which manifest themselves mainly from his work in the office.

Sadly, the simplest things in life so often turn out to be the most difficult to comprehend. We preach to our partners, children, clients, and friends. Telling them how important it is for them to be kind to themselves. We might even get them a gift voucher so they can de-stress with a holistic treatment. Yet we will not be very convincing unless we ‘walk our talk’. How can YOU provide all the constant loving kindness for your children, partner, clients, friends or parents, if you don’t recharge your own batteries? It has to be a two way stream of GIVING & RECEIVING.

As an Holistic Natural Health Practitioner I book regular Holistic Treatment Sessions for myself. I need to ’recharge my batteries’ just as much as any of my clients. How can I assist in any healing if I do not provide for my own healing on an ongoing basis? Furthermore, how can I expect my clients to book their regular treatments, if I don’t do the same for myself?

‘Holistic’ means treating the whole person. Let me hold a space for you, where you can ‘Simply Unwind’.

Copyright 2008 Kerstin Weber | Email | Web Page | Phone 07782541043 or 01736 351317 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting            01736 351317      end_of_the_skype_highlighting (Cornwall, UK)