All You Need Is Love by Jenny Parker

If you want to be loved, you must learn how to love.  If you want anyone else to fall in love with you, you must fall in love with yourself first.  Love is what we all want, no matter how much we already have.  Those who say they don’t are afraid.  You can hold an infinite amount of love in your body.

Searching outside of yourself for love when you haven’t learnt to love yourself automatically buys you a ticket on the rollercoaster ride, because everything that is happening around you affects your self-love.  So if the person you look to for your love fix is having a bad hair day, you end up having one too.  It can ripple out further, to something that appears to be as insignificant as the guy at the checkout frowning because he’s off colour, and you immediately start to feel bad.

This is where the problem comes in with everyone to some degree or another and with some more acutely than others.  If you feel you don’t measure up to the ideals of society and your peers, you hold yourself in contempt, creating a vicious circle.  This attitude acts as a repellent to much love, that might otherwise be yours.

When people come to me with a problem, it doesn’t matter what it is – poor health, money issues, unfulfilling relationships, stifled creativity – I always work on loving the self.  I find that when you really love, accept and approve of yourself exactly as you are, then everything in life works.  It’s as if little miracles unfold everywhere.  Our health improves, we attract more money, our relationships become more fulfilling and we begin to express ourselves in creatively fulfilling ways.  All this seems to happen without effort.

Without love, life is empty. The beat of the heart is what makes the world go around.  Love influences everything, because whatever you want to be and do, always involves your relationships in life.  You can’t live without relationships.  Nothing can be accomplished alone. You can’t even be selfish by yourself; there is always someone else involved.  We are all related whether you like it or not because we are linking with each other as living centres of life.  So it’s vital to work on your relationships and the best place to start is with the relationship with yourself.

Sitting around waiting for others to love you first so that you can love yourself is faulty thinking.  It needs to be the other way around.  How can you possibly expect someone else to love you if there is no love for the self.   Ask yourself how much time you spend searching for love outside yourself and how much time you put into loving yourself first.

Most of us reach for love, not because we are overflowing with a fulfilling joyousness of love, but because we feel a yearning lack; and as a result of this yearning, lack is what we emanate.  When you look outside for love without loving yourself, you form co-dependent relationships with others, because you are dependent on them loving you to feel good.

What others see in you is not the mask you hide behind. They perceive emotionally how you are really thinking and feeling about yourself behind that mask.  This is the real light, the emanation that is given out, and you are treated accordingly.  So if you want more love in your life you have to give yourself more love and then you will attract love in.

So the most important aspect of love to achieve is self-love.  It takes practise and it means living in ways that do not betray you.  It comes from living by your truth.  Not going against the voice of your own heart.  You have to fall in love with yourself first to gain the capacity to have the true love experience. This way, when stuff happens out there in the world, your own love gives you an inner strength that can place you in the eye of the storm.  By sitting down and writing a list of all you want in a lover, it will give you a list of what you need to work on inside.

Make self-love a given, just as you beat your heart and breathe.  Detach your love for yourself from your actions, behaviours and what goes on in your life.   The things that go on in your life are just opportunities for learning and growth and don’t need to affect your love for yourself.

When it all boils down there are only 2 emotions you can feel: love and fear.  All emotions, at their core, stem from one of these two.  Fear is just you operating from your lower self.  At any given time, you either have fear-based emotions and reactions, or love-based emotions and reactions.  You cannot be operating from both love and fear in the same moment.  It is always one or the other.  Everything you say, think, feel and choose is coming from love or fear.  So in any given moment you can either live in fear and go on kicking and screaming or choose love and live in joy.  Walk willingly or be dragged through suffering the whole way.

Fear is just a lower vibration of love, so it is frozen love.  If you defrost your fear you will raise the frequency to love.  Fear is your friend, fear is your guide, love your fear and allow it to guide you into love.

The key to all healing is to love the unlovable and this occurs when you love yourself so hard that the fear melts away.  Learn to love the things about yourself which aren’t perfect yet, just as much as you love the things in yourself which are perfect.

For things to improve there has to be some fundamental change in yourself.  The rest of the world cannot do it for you.  All change comes from within.  You have to take action, not just think about it.  Doing things for others so that they will love you is going the wrong way around.  So start loving yourself today.  Don’t wait around for someone else to love you.  Love yourself unconditionally without expectation of return.

Love makes the world go round.  Bring love into the equation first, not last.  Instead of seeing love as a by product of your life, view your life as the rewards of love.

Thinking about love won’t do anything but give you another beautiful theory which will swim around in your head and give you some fuel for another head tripping excursion.  To be love in each and every moment takes practise.   Here is an exercise to put mind into muscle.  

Exercise For Creating Love

1.  What percentage out of a 100 do you love yourself unconditionally?

2.  Think of something that is easiest for you to love, like a small flower, a tree, an animal or a work of art.

3.  Sit with it and give it your precious love.  Tune into where you feel this love.  Make sure you aren’t feeling it just in the head because this means that you’re only thinking about feeling love.  Love is felt in the heart.  If you can’t feel it then it isn’t real and indicates that you are choosing fear in that moment.

4.  When you have this feeling of loving something unconditionally, replace this picture with a picture of yourself and apply the same feelings.  If you find you can’t feel unconditional love for yourself ask yourself what is blocking it.  This will give you the issues which you can then clear. If any blocks come up for you when doing this, these need to be addressed and cleared.

 5.  Ask yourself how you benefit by not loving yourself unconditionally? You might be surprised at what comes up for you.  Unconscious and faulty programming will be revealed.  Once this becomes conscious it will cease to have a hold over you.  It’s out in the open and it’s far easier to change strategies once you know you are running them.

Another old but faithful recipe is to sit in front of the mirror for 10 minutes and love that person that you see there.  Do not be critical.  We are all experts at looking in the mirror and finding every flaw.  That is not allowed here; only positive compliments are allowed in this exercise.  If you want a real challenge, every time you criticize yourself, start all over again.  See if you can make it to 10 minutes without one criticism.

Loving and approving of yourself creates a space of safety and organisation in your mind, and attracts more loving relationships in your life,  a new job, a new and better place to live, and can even enable your body weight to normalise.

Love has an extraordinary effect on your body; your eyes twinkle, your skin glows, you radiate happiness.  People who love themselves and their bodies don’t abuse themselves or others.   If you have true love for yourself then you would treat yourself, everyone else and the environment very differently than you do now.  If you really love yourself then all good springs from it.  So before you get out of bed in the morning and before you go to sleep at night ensure that you are in love with yourself.

Copyright 2009 Jenny Parker. For the past 11 years Jenny has been officially working as a healer, writer, Ascension Mentor, teacher and inspirational speaker. Jenny has developed her own unique way of working which melds mind/body/soul mechanics.  She’s passionate about all aspects of the ascension path, especially uncovering psychological clarity in the self so to return to the authenticity of self, and helping others to do the same. Jenny's web site.