The Importance Of Me Time By Deborah Dooley

Left to their own devices, young children spend part of their day wandering, watching, looking, thinking, daydreaming. They instinctively know that body and mind need this time – just to be. But as they get older their time becomes gradually more and more taken up with studying, organised recreation and working. All of which means that in the end there’s nothing left of something that’s come to be known as me time. The time we all need to just be.

Most of us recognise the scenario. We spend our time running. From house, to school, to work, to the supermarket – and so it goes on. Even at the end of the day when we reach what should be the haven of home, the chores are waiting – and there’s still no time for ourselves. As one working mother puts it, ‘The alarm goes off at 6am, and a little voice inside my head says, ‘ready steady go!’ And that’s it. I’m racing - until around midnight.

The trouble is that this kind of work/life imbalance really does take its toll on our physical and mental health. The constant low level stress that accompanies a very hectic lifestyle reduces immunity, leading to frequent minor ailments – colds, sore throats, tummy bugs etc, and can cause irritability, mild depression and exhaustion. It can also reduce concentration, contribute to short term memory loss, and seriously impact on relationships with partner and family.

There’s no getting away from the fact that the pace of life nowadays is, for most of us, fast and furious. The phrase ‘not enough hours in the day’ is a recurring one and the mere suggestion of some time off reduces many of us to hysterical laughter. But this may well be a short sighted approach.

Experts say that far from slowing your productivity and creativity, taking some regular ‘me time’ can increase it. Giving your mind and body a complete break every so often will quite simply make them work better. An exhausted body rebels against yet more demands, and an overloaded brain can’t possibly perform well, which means that even simple tasks take longer and are done poorly. If on the other hand, you allow yourself to relax, and have some me time, you’re giving your batteries a chance to recharge in every possible way. So that you can return to the fray, refreshed and fully functioning. And if you make regular me time a priority, you’ll find that you feel physically and mentally healthier and more alert and calmer. Your life will run more smoothly and efficiently, and your relationships will improve.

But of course taking time for yourself isn’t easy. When you do manage to grab some time for yourself the temptation is always to tackle that pile of ironing or catch up on some paperwork. And guilt feelings about taking time out can sabotage its benefits.
So be firm with yourself. Tell yourself that you need and deserve this me time, that it will be good not just for you, but for everyone and everything close to you. And do whatever you have to in order to get regular fixes of that all important me time. Get a babysitter, do a deal at work so you can leave early once a week, and explain to your partner how important this is. Then, go for a walk, have a picnic on the beach, curl up by the fire with a book, share a delicious meal with a dear friend. Wander through some woods, stare at the horizon, go for a long bike ride – whatever makes you smile.

Resolutely push any thoughts of work, house, family, problems – whatever, out of your head. This is your time. Use it to focus on you, and learn to enjoy it and the effect it has on your life.

Copyright 2009 Deborah Dooley is a freelance journalist and creator of ‘Retreats for you’, a place that gives you space. Deborah runs ‘Retreats for you’ from her large and rambling house in Devon, and welcomes writers, walkers and anyone who needs some time out and some TLC. www.deborahdooleyjournalist.co.uk